not today

I try to be diplomatic and play nice.

But not today.

I follow Self Magazine on Insta, and I really like what they have to say most of the time, but I take issue with what I’m seeing on my feed right now.  It’s an article titled “A SoulCycle Instructor Shares Her 14 Healthy Gym Bag Essentials.”  The word “essentials” caught my eye because I’m all about reducing things to the empirical and making my life easier.

Here are the things this gal needs, apparently:

A $128 tote bag

Some StarKist tuna pouches

A $129.95 Fitbit

Makeup remover

A $38 hat to hide her post-workout hair

$29 eye cream

$22 shampoo

$349.95 wireless headphones

lacrosse balls for muscle rolling

$19 stress-relieving “luxe-smelling” oil

A $169 Clarisonic brush

A $14.99 water bottle

A $12 salve for her lips and cuticles

Extra socks

So……for at least $919 we can “adopt [her] habits so [we] can stay on track with [our] health goals, too.”

Are. You.  Kidding.  Me. ???

Listen up, my precious friends.  Do not buy into the lie that fitness is this thing to be had only if you are wealthy or already at a certain level of fitness.  If all you can do is walk up and down your driveway, do that.  If all you have to run in are a pair of hand-me-down sneakers, go run.  If the only bag you have to use is a plastic supermarket one, use that bag.  If you’ll never be able to afford a Fitbit or wireless headphones, so what?  Move your body anyhow.

You know what’s in my gym bag?  An inhaler, a razor that’s had the same blade on it for I-shall-not-disclose-that-information, cheap shampoo that I’ve mixed with a bit of water from the showerhead to make it last a bit longer, $4 tank tops from Wal-Mart, a smashed granola bar in case my blood sugar drops off (twice a year, I’d say), cheap old headphones, Burt’s Bees lip balm…..  Fitness isn’t about what’s in my gym bag, it’s about running and that half hour of time that I get to sort out all the junk that’s floating around in my brain, and plan for the next day or week, and wear myself out so that I can sleep better, and talk to God, and burn off some of those extra calories that my body doesn’t need, and strengthen my heart….

My goodness; it’s never about the bag of crap stashed in the locker room.

Or the clothes covering my body.

Or the shoes.

Never.

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